Home Relationship Is long distance a barrier to love/relationship? How to cope with it.

Is long distance a barrier to love/relationship? How to cope with it.

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Relationship often times take us to places where we never come back again. Remember the saying “love knows no bound” as we can even love through the four walls of the world. People find love in the smallest places and some find love in the more dispersed places as well as people located at different geographical regions or countries still share love and intimacy. How well then can distance be a limitation to loving or being intimate with another? Some people do believe that this is a major cause of not having a life long relationship which people don’t take seriously as to not be drowned in heartbreak. Talking about long distance and relationships, this is majorly not an easy task for the affected individuals as it requires a lot of positivity and discipline towards making this happen as things could get shaky sometimes.

There are actually success stories of some of the happiest couples being in a long distance relationship and most expert think it’s healthy to begin when two people reside in different locations. A lot of youths nowadays are embodied by the thoughts of the activities of the partner when apart, some are paranoid of being cheated upon, some think that they are being fooled around and some are worried about the physical presence of or intimacy with the partner while distanced and this is a major negative break from shunning long distance relationship amongst the youths of nowadays. Famous Doctors and Co heads of couple therapy, Dr Philip Lee and Dr Diane Rudolph affirmed that when people meet and are infatuated with each other, it is generally thought that the initial surge of emotions lasts longer when the couple is separated. When people meet and are infatuated with each other, there are actually some senses of real and true emotions running within which could be triggered to pave way for a relationship. Things may seem going well as the partners are being fond of seeing each other around which gradually grows the love and connections and other spices of relationship between these two that things are already solidified even when they become miles apart in distance away from each other.

This topic is majorly for those that found love and are worried that distance could fail them as well as couple already long distanced. In the world now, there’s this feeling of satisfaction and extreme familiarity we get from our partners being close to one another, this could be a major turn off to disturbing the connections within a relationship. Long distance partners usually have the same or more satisfaction generated in relationships than couples that are geographically close and these sets of couples tend to be more dedicated and high tendencies of wanting each other more which will definitely be increasing the connections within a relationship than people that are close to each other. Personally, nowadays, I tend to understand and know more about my partner than when we were close together because of the constant talking and conversation. This usually is a strong and vital way of getting to know more about a partner since you both spend more time on conversations than sitting close to each in a cinema hall or out at an eatery or watching the birds together on the sands of beaches, these are actually awesome ways to create memories but a lot more people tend to shy away from their partner in disclosing more about themselves while on a physical date or hangout. Sometimes when after a long date with my partner, I return back and remember all the things I could have asked or said but didn’t or couldn’t.

Partners that are apart tend to grow and cultivate personal interests and friendships so you will have more interesting things to bring together to the relationship. You have more quiet time to make sole decisions and plans so whenever you meet your partner you’re very much excited and would definitely value the time you do spend together and have a lot to talk about.

Even though long distance relationships could breed lots of problems at the initial stage, here are some tips on how to overcome these issues as to not lead to both partners going separate ways, this hurts.

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1. Commitment: Even though only few relationships do last without initial commitment, but this is an essential spice to everyone thinking about making a decision on a long distance relationship. It is highly important that you are truly committed to this person before you might waste your precious time. While in college, when things are going smoothly and being around each other, it is important to work towards a goal of ending that distance at some point in life, either by marriage or working in the same geographical location if at all there is a goal of a life time relationship. This same serves to others aside being in college, long distance relationship that can stand the test of time requires a sense of true commitment and a plan to end the distance at some point.

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2. Technology is your best friend: Long distance relationships are lot more easier now than ever because of the technological advances we have now. This has ensured staying connected in both mind and the body. A lot of us cannot go through the day without speaking to the other partner, this is like a glued connection in relationships and this could only happen when partners are apart. Partners can share the day-to-day activities of each other with the use of texts, chats, face time and even voice notes which have cancelled the days of letters and long distance phone calls. Because long distance partners rely heavily on technology to stay connected, it allows them to stay more verbally connected even more than couple who see each other often and sit in a room without interacting at all. For this to be more romantic, it’s advisable that partners should not just generalize their day activities, like instead of saying “I went out to see a show”, they should delve into talking about the details of the show, talk about whom you went with, when you arrived, the artistes that performed, the songs, what you drank and how the show made you feel, and other details. This makes the day to come alive to your partner even when he or she was not there to witness it and this breeds and strengthens the connection.

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3. Plan and have fun together even when you are apart: Being in a long distance doesn’t mean you both are restricted to having some fun or doing some funny stuffs together online or offline. You can both download or stream same movie and watch it at the same time, then talk about the movie. Sing to each other. Go shopping online and buy stuffs for each other. You can play online games or tests or read a book together and share the experience thereafter. This would spark and unleash interesting memories and conversations. You can as well as cook or have a taste of same food recipe and share the pictures and experiences.

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4. Plan on the next date: This is where you both plan and talk about your next meeting and date, take pleasure in discussing the details of the fun things you will do on the next date. You can decide that every night you are together, with their names, you’re going to watch different movies or go to new eateries that you have not been before. You can as well schedule video calls at work and when cooking or going to bed. This can create something that the partners can look forward to.

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5. Be confident and less stalky: Insecurities are often the fears of this type of relationship which can lead to checking on the partner too often resulting to disturbing calls and texts for wrong reasons. This could be worrisome to the other partner as he or she could begin to feel wanting to be detached. Even though communication is an essential spice to long distance relationship, it’s a way of sharing the daily activities of one and making the other feel loved and welcomed but when this communication is being hijacked by insecurities, it could be detrimental to what you both have built in the relationship. Thereby this communication needs to be at a level well accepted by the partners.

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6. Enjoy your alone time with friends and family: Even though you are not with your partner, to limit being so lonely, you need to have your sole time to enjoy yourself with your friends and family. You are alone but you are not lonely unless you choose to. Learn new skills, go to the gym more, go to beaches or learn a hobby, have fun hang out with friends. There are more fun and lovely things to do without your partner being involved.

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7. Stay clear and woke: Irrespective of the absence of our partner, the lives we live on social media and offline could be off towards the relationship. Don’t do anything you would not want the other person to see on social media. Self controls and staying out of situations that would jeorpadize your long distance relationship is necessary as we would want our partner to act same way as we do in staying clear. If you know that going to club with your friends or having a late night hangout with a group will displease your partner, it’s better to stay clear.

Finally give each other pet names, this works like magic as it has a way of striking the love chamber of the heart.

Long distance actually makes the simplest things to be the sweetest and loveliest, being able to hear your partner’s voice, hold their hands, feeding each other, sleeping beside each and doing naughty things together. All these can be over exaggerated with partners being so close than those that are far apart. Always make all possible effort to reach out to your partner and stay loved, have unforgettable moments anytime you see and be with each other. With these, long distance relationships are a thing to long for if both partners can be committed to make effort to imbibe all these things.

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